Seventh day of Christmas, and another blog from a good friend, Lucy Aur. Lucy and Lucia met and became friends in Kew Gardens when both had been invited to be Ambassadors for ‘iWill’, a campaign to raise and encourage the voices of young people. Lucy founded and runs Renegades Foundation, ‘making a noise about silent struggles’. Check it out on the web link, or Instagram – but try this blog from Lucy first…
“Get up at 5am, start running, run 10k, run a marathon, complete an Iron Man, blend and drink your greens, ten step skin routine morning and night, less carbs, more protein, less phone time, more side hustle, loose weight but gain muscle, clear your room but buy this light up mirror someone with 200k followers told you will change your life, travel but save your money, embrace your youth but settle down soon, cut down and cut out until you’ve burnt yourself out.
In summary, change yourself and punish yourself when you don’t completely change your life by Spring.
To me, traditional resolutions come with feelings of disappointment and guilt. Because they are rigid and stressful and rarely fit in with our work and personal schedules. At the end of the year we look back and berate ourselves for the places we see we’ve failed, instead of accounting for the many many ways we have lived and loved and grown.
A new year is supposed to feel like a celebration. An excitement for all that is too come, all that we will experience that we can’t possibly imagine yet. Usually I write about the struggles of the festive season, grief and anxiety and pressure. And while all those things are still present, this time it feels poignant to put thought into something that can make a positive difference and that is easy to achieve.
I don’t want to start a new year planning all the ways I have to change myself. I don’t want to end a year regretting all the ways I didn’t change myself yet. I don’t want to kid myself into taking up Pilates because it’s the latest trend when I already know that it doesn’t make me feel good.
My value doesn’t change when the clock strikes 12 on December 31st. My wants and needs don’t change on January 1st.
Here is what I do instead.
I don’t change myself; I see it more as adding to who I already am. I don’t have resolutions, I have intentions.
In 2025 I don’t have any plans to improve my 5k time or cut out sugar.
I intend to swim in the sea at Ogmore with my best friend because she said she loves it.
I intend to eat the fruits I haven’t tried before, not because they’re healthy but they look like they’ll taste delicious ands there are so many fun ones to try.
I intend to write down the good moments, no matter how seemingly small. Not to share with anyone, but to remind myself.
I’m going to read more poetry after having my head in academic books for so long. I’m going to bake bread simply because I tried it the other day and it was surprisingly easy. I’m going to learn more British sign language, find new music to listen to, put flowers in the window more often.
I intend to fill my life with lovely things, with bright places, not supress my personality or compare myself to strangers on the internet. All of our goals are different because our priorities are different. We can’t compare our lives because we are all different people experiencing different challenges and striving for different feelings.
This isn’t to say that the conversations around new year’s resolutions are wrong, more that they’re misguided. This isn’t to say that we should never strive to better ourselves, to try new things and give our bodies and minds the best chance, to care for ourselves, to experience new things and push our comfort zone. But to say that we should do these things out of genuine desire and love for ourselves, not because of pressure. To do it because we want to experience more of life, not because we think we lack something.
We don’t know what challenges and joy the year will bring, but what we do know is where we are now and where we want to get to. Instead of resolutions, and by focusing on our intentions, we will be able to deal with whatever comes our way.
Social media has become obsessed with the idea of a ‘glow up’ and that implies that who we are is not enough.
As I said, before midnight on new year’s eve we are already enough.
Perhaps instead of focusing on how we look and how our lives look, we should focus more on how they feel.
So when the fireworks pop and the clock strikes 12, I encourage you to celebrate where you are and who you are. To enjoy the moment and not worry about what tomorrow will bring. A lot of us are fortunate to have many tomorrows left.
Let tomorrow worry about itself.”
– Lucy
PS. “After reading all the incredibly inspiring and moving blogs accompanied with beautiful song suggestions, I wanted to share this song with you…I’m here, by Cynthia Erivo.
Lucy’s first time as a brave blood donor